In The Dark Of The Night
by Mrs. Iris Jane
Summary: Pacey and the crew struggle when the world they live in changes forever. Pacey and Joey Fic
1. Chapter 1

**As I finish wiping down a baseboard in the newly renovated B&B I look over and see Paceys old baseball cap on a chair and can't help the smile that stretches across my face. He has been on my mind more and more lately. He works so hard for Bessie and I that I'm not sure if I could ever repay him. I reach for the hat as Bessie enters the room from putting Alexander down for bed **

**"What's the smile for Jo?" Bessie says with one rises brow and a **

**"Why does the smile have to be for something? Maybe I just wish to smile. " **

**"I just figured the death grip on a certain delinquents favorite hat may have had something to do with it." Bessie let out in a chuckle. **

**A sarcastic "what" finds its way from my mouth as my brows furrow and I throw the hat at her.**

**"Come on Jo surly you notice the amount of work he has done for you lately" she says with a wave around the room we are standing in. **

**"It's not for just me Bess. He is a good friend and that's what friends do right? " Even as the words exit my mouth I know she has some retort about to unleash the words I am currently avoiding with every fiber of my being. To avoid them being said out loud I stomp past her grabbing his hat from her hands grumbling the words "I'm going out. " over my shoulder before she has a chance to reply. **

**As I make my way off the porch I hear her yell to be careful. I stop and look in the direction of Dawson's house before a sigh breaks free and I turn and head in the opposite direction. Things were still different between us and I knew going to him to discuss the blurring lines between friends and more with his best friend was not going to help their already conflicted relationship. I honestly doesn't even know how to begin a discussion about Pacey with herself. **

**For as long as I can remember my heart has belonged to Dawson. I never prepared myself for someone else working their way in. I am not even sure when Pacey began to grow on me but I find myself thinking of him at the oddest times for the silliest of reasons. When we are together I feel content despite his ability to make my eye twitch during a round of banter. I fiddle with his cap in my hand and nervously drop it on my head with the thought of I'm wearing something of his. The silly sentiment gives me butterflies and makes me frown at the same time. As I step over a fallen tree on the side of the deserted road I hear a car coming up the opposite side of the road a man in his thirties lets out a small smile and a wave as he drives by. I wave back despite not knowing the man. Most people around here are polite and I spot the Indiana plates on the back of his car I sigh wondering if I should hitch a ride. **

**I let out a chuckle and pull the cap from my head. It's a nice daydream to think about living somewhere were they don't know I'm a motherless convicts daughter. To just be Joey not the girl on the wrong side of the creek. Despite how much I hate the labels I could never leave my sister or Pacey or Dawson. My mind wanted out but my heart has been tethered to this place long ago. The startling thing I realized was Pacey came second in that line up. Dwelling on it wasn't going to fix anything I look up realizing it's become dark and just as go to turn I notice the end of a car hidden in the woods curiosity gets squashed as I realize it's the Indiana car.**

**Before I can finish the thought that the car should not be there I get tackled from behind. The wind is knocked from my body as I hit the ground hard with a person's weight upon me. A hand covers my mouth before I can scream. I bite down hard drawing blood and fight the urge to vomit when the copper taste fills my mouth. They jerk back with a howl and I push up with one arm and bring the other back with my elbow out as hard as I can. As I spit the blood from my mouth I see it dropping on to Paceys cap and it makes my stomach turn in fear as my brain registers what is happening. My elbow connects with his side but it's not enough to push him from my back. He lets out a growl as a scream rips loud from my throat. I feel the pressure slip from my back and scramble to get up. I have barely gotten my second foot under me when I feel it being yanked back causing my hands to scrap the pavement hard as I try to break free. I feel like I have been screaming for hours but know it's only been seconds. **

**I roll to try and break free which only ends with him onto of me. I continue to scream as I look into the man's crazed face and the grim reality settles upon me as he punches me the first time. I m forced to stop screaming as the hit sends my head back but I continue to struggle. His weight pushes me down harder I feel something rip into my arm and let out another scream which only made me hurt more. The second punch lands and my head falls to the side and I see Paceys cap and the tears finally break free as darkness consumes me. **

**As I sit next to my father and Doug watching a game I carry on casual conversation about the Potter house renovations. It seems the volunteers made an impression upon my father that I am very good at construction **

**"There may be hope for your future yet son." John lets out quickly as he throws back his beer. **

**"Seriously though little brother what is this all about? " Doug stares at me interested making my palms sweat a little. If there was a small part of him that wished to speak to his brother about his growing affection for Jo it definitely wasn't going to happen in front of his father. He wiped his hands along his jeans and let out a chuckle. **

**"Why does this have to be all about something ? My friend needed help so I'm helping." **

**My father scoffed. " That is where you need to learn a little and help yourself a little more if you hope to become anything." **

**I ground my teeth together to stop the verbal barrage of profanities that I wanted to unleash upon John Witter. The house phone rings at the same time Doug's cell went off. I jump to pull the receiver from the wall as I watch Doug answer. A hello falls from my mouth as I watch Doug turn concerned eyes to me then to my father. **

**"Pacey have you seen Jo?" The panicked rush from Dawson makes my hand run threw my hair. What has he done this time. My gut turns as Doug hands his cell to my father and turn towards me with a pinched look. **

**"I left there early this afternoon haven't seen her since, why what did you do this time D?" **

**"She left home hours ago and they can't find her Pace, something's wrong. You know No she doesn't take off like that for hours on end." **

**I stutter and lean against the wall as Dawson rambles on that his dad's already out looking and Doug's grabbing his arm telling him he needs his help. He knows I know what he is talking about and I let out a quick I'm going to look before hanging up. **

**"What do you know Doug? Someone has seen her right she is okay right because Jo has to be alright. " **

**"Slow down Pace. You know where she hangs out let's jump in my cruiser, I'm sure she is okay. Bess is probably worked up over nothing." **

**The words were meant to comfort me but they just let loose the frantic panic, Bessie didn't get worked up over nothing, she was always calm and in control of situations so if she was sending for police something was terribly wrong. I hear the end of his discussion with my father deciding who will go which way. Before I know what I'm doing I'm dragging Doug to his car as fast as my feet will take me. "Talk latter Doug we have got to go." **

**"Calm down Pace we will find her." I'm running around the patrol car and yanking it open so hard I'm afraid I will break the handle. Doug is turning on his radio and dispatch is relaying any info they know which makes my stomach turn. "Josephine left home at 5:20 approximately and has yet to return home, she is not at the Leery household nor the Witter, Lindley or Mcphee residents. The store and Library clerks have not seen her and will notify us if they do see Ms. Potter. That's all we have for now Doug" **

**"Thanks keep me updated Thomas." Doug looks me in the eye trying to assess if taking me is smart or not and I can't let him kick me out now. **

**"Start at the park by the docks first I can jump out while you keep the car on we can move faster that way." Doug lets out a sigh with his quick" okay but keep calm Pace." We are off and at the park within moments I am flinging the door open and yelling for her at the same time. I Sprint down the dock yelling and I frantically think of where else she would be as I turn and run back for the car. "She's not here lets try the school. " **

**"Dad was heading there first Pace, where else?" **

**"The theater, the dance school maybe?" Doug pulls in the direction of the theatre first. "Jo doesn't do this Doug, she hates watching movies alone, she hates worrying Bessie, she's not irresponsible, she's smart you know. She is so smart it pisses me off and makes me happy at the same time." Thankfully my verbal diarrhea stops but one glance at Doug and he knows for sure that I am in love with her. **

**"She's a bit on the pretty side too huh Pace." **

**"Too pretty and not aware of it is the problem." My fist clinch and before we pull up to the theater Thomas is on the radio. "Doug uhh Doug you there?" The quietness that Doug replays tells me he has noticed something is wrong. Thomas's stuttering as he speaks has me holding my breath. **

**"Mitch Leery found Josephine in the woods two miles from home. They are on the way to the hospital your father and Stephens are on there way to the scene. He wants you at the hospital talking to Mitch." I feel like I am choking as Doug hesitates to speak" what scene do mean Thomas? " He is pulling out and heading towards the hospital as he speaks. He drops the receiver and grabs my arm that I realize is holding the dashboard as my face stays trained on the radio. **

**"Josephine was attacked and left in the woods Doug it's ...it's bad Doug." **

**I feel the yell rip from my throat as Doug's Turing his lights on and we are flying down the streets. The tears are falling and I am struggling between screaming some more or ripping the car apart as Doug's words break through the haze. "Hold it together Pace, she will need you to hold it together okay?" I fight for breath and nod my head trying to remember her this afternoon. She was so angry when I threw paint on her she was laughing in no time and her retaliation had us both jumping in the creek before Bessie would allow us in. We are pulling into the hospital parking lot. " Breath Pace breath and take it slow" I'm nodding my head on auto pilot and I make my way for the Emergency room entrance. **

**I'm shaking like a leaf by time I hit the doors I feel Doug grab my arm and I let him lead me in. He keeps saying to breath and stay calm and I keep looking at him like he is crazy. I feel like I am doing good although nothing was going to keep me calm once we rounded the corner and I spotted Mitch being fussed over by a nurse. I stood rooted staring at the blood covered Mitch Leery and my brain stopped only to register the gasp and tightening of my brothers hand as he takes in Mitches state and pale face. **

**The tears seem to be coming heavier as I take off towards Mitch. "Is she alive God please tell me she is alive."I am holding a startled Mr. Leery at arms length and as he pulls me in for a tight hug I squeeze back desperate for answers.**

**"I don't know what to stay Pacey. She is alive but she was in bad shape." I'm choking on air as Mitch continues to talk. "They rushed her back she was unconscious when I found her and she...she never woke while I was moving her." I feel Doug tugging on my shoulder. "Pace I need to talk to Mr. Leery." Mitch loosens his hold, I wipe my face and step back nodding my head. **

**"Mr. Leery I know this is hard but I need to know how you found Joey." Mitch lets out what was supposed to be a chuckle but came out a scoff as he pat my shoulder. "If I hadn't seen your horrid hat Pace I wouldn't have stopped. " His statement has me lurching back against the wall and sliding to the floor. "She will make it Pacey, Joey has to be one of the toughest women I know. Doug lets talk somewhere else. " As I am about to protest Bessie bust through the door with Bodie, Gale and Dawson on her heels. I push up and regret it as Bessie crumbles at the sight of us. **

**Bodie holds her up and pushes forward asking for Jo all at once. In that moment the nurse comes forward to lead them into a smaller room to discuss Joeys condition so far. I'm not sure if it is Bessies panic or the terror and uncertainty on all our faces that has her shaking her head and saying we are all family. We are all desperate to know what is happening. The nurse hesitates but Mitch speaks before the nurse can protest. "Bessie it may be best to speak to her in private. " **

**Dawson is the first to react in a barrage of questions that only he could understand because he was talking so fast. "We all have a right to know. I have a right to...she's my...I can't. " Gales hugging him shuts him up enough to hear the nurse say she will return with the doctor. "Bessie... ...this is a bad idea you don't understand. " Mitch Is cut off by Bessies scoff and you can see the Potter temper flare to life as she rounds on Mitch who is standing next to me. Bodie says something in her ear and she deflates once again taking in Mitchs blood stained clothes. "Is all that Jo's? " **

**"I don't know. ... I think so." Mitch leaves the statement hanging as Doug tries to drag Mr. Leery away one more time for questions but is derailed by two doctors entering the room with the nurse on their heels. The room goes silent and the doctor asks for privacy and Bessie is shaking her head before he has even finished his sentence. " We are all family. ...this is the only family we have. So just tell us now." The doctor hesitates taking us all in before asking us to follow him into a private room. Up until now everything has been like a bad dream. I wish I could wake up and call Jo at home so she could give me the third degree about being up this late when we have class tomorrow. But I won't wake up, Jo won't be. Okay. This night will change the rest of our lives our humble little town seems tainted and the heavy sighs from Mitch tells me this isn't the worst part yet. **

**We filed silently into the room Doug following but you can tell he feels slightly out of place. I'm slightly startled when Bessie grabs my hand and doesn't let go. I give a small squeeze and look to her other side at Bodie who is staring the doctor in the face making him squirm a little. Doug stands behind my chair and the Leery family is against the other wall. I feel like forever has passed and wonder if they are even going to speak when he finally looks to Bessie to start I feel all air leave me and her hand clamps down on mine hard. **

**"Josephine has yet to wake up. She suffered massive blood loss and had a nasty tear on her arm. We have given her multiple stitches on her arm, leg and back. We need you to sign a consent to finish treatment. " The last part throws me for a moment but horrid realization sets in as Doug exhaled loudly and drops his hands on my shoulders. You're not raised by the sheriff without picking some things up. They are asking to exam her most intimate of areas and there's only one reason for that. **

**I am hoping it's all precautionary as Bessie asks why I force myself to let go of her hand as rage sweeps through me with the quiet way Mitch says her name. He is letting her know without the words being spoken. A no flies from my mouth as I lurch my body from the chair the doctor stumbles back startled as I hear Dawson inquire to what's going on I am ripping the door open as I continue to say no, they call my name as I storm down the halls to where... I have no idea, back to 2 o'clock when Jo was safe next to me. **

**Doug calls my name down the hall as I turn I see Mitch grab his shoulder and they must be beginning the horrid conversation of how he stumbled upon my best friend in the woods alone and bleeding. The thought has me ducking into a small area and dropping to my knees as I cry. I haven't cried like this in my entire life, Josephine Potter is the girl I love to hate, hate to love but can't imagine life without. How much will this change her, or me or any of us for that matter. I'm startled by a hand on my shoulder and look back to see Brodie with Bessie beside him, embarrassed I wipe my face and push to my feet. "You guys don't need to look after me, you have enough on your plate." **

**"Pacey I know we joke about you being an idiot sometimes but it's times like this that you earn it. You are as much apart of this family as anyone of us so come back and we will wait together for Jo to come to. " How Bessie is managing to tease at a time like this I will never know. I nod my head and am shocked again as Bodie hugs me and pulls Bessie to us for an awkward group hug. For a moment I feel like everything will be okay and realize I do really feel at home with them even Jo's not around. "Where's Alexander? " **

**"Believe it or not Mrs. Ryan and Jen are watching him at our house. " I give her a soft chuckle as we make our way back to the rest of the group. "Is it horrible of me to hope he poops alot?" Bessie lets out a laugh and Bodie grabs her hand with a smile. The Leerys and my brother are looking at us like we are insane. I give a small shrug as we come to a stop in front of them. I catch a raised brow from Dawson but look to Doug as he hangs up his cell phone. "I know it will be hard Bessie but I need to speak with Joey as soon as she is up and coherent, okay?" **

**"What do you have so far Doug? " Bodie sounds tense as the words leave his mouth. Doug hesitates for a moment before he reluctantly replies that they are still searching the scene but the sooner she wakes the better. I can't agree more but I wish she wasn't going to be questioned about it so quickly. Jo is closed off on a good day. I hear a scream from down the hall and am in motion towards the sounds of the yelling and commotion. My heart breaks the more words that register at my frantic pace. **

**"DON'T TOUCH ME. Just stop...don't come near me please...please" Jo's last word comes out a whimper that has me pushing through nurses quickly. **

**"JO" I realize how frantic I sound and try to calm down as I try to reach her. No image I had conjured up comes close to my battered friend standing in the corner and I fight back a sob at the terrified look on her face. I step forward cautiously and next thing I know I have a paper covered Jo plastered to the front of me. I turn and slide down the wall with her in my lap. **

**She says my name quietly as Bessie stands in front of us trying to pull herself together. I am rambling what I hope are comforting words as my arm travels down her back I feel flesh and realize the gown is open in the back. The look on my face sends Bessie in motion and she pulls the blanket from the bed and drapes it over us carefully. Joey startled and Bessie calls her name quietly as she reaches back without looking and pulls Bessie down on my knees directly behind her. We are a horrible tangle of limbs and Jo's face is barried in my neck and I can't bring myself to look away from the bruise on her thigh in the perfect shape of a hand. **

**My blood boils but the tears straining my shirt keep me grounded. "I'll never let anyone touch you again Jo." **


	2. Chapter 2

Consciousness is a heavy burden. My head hurts, my body hurts but most of all my heart hurts. I thought losing my mother hurt, I thought her death was going to be the most painful experience of my life but I was wrong. Her death had been predetermined, we had time to come to terms with her departure. This pain was intense, crippling and came out of no where. My mind is a jumble of thoughts and I'm beginning to become acutely aware of the commotion by the door, of the startled room full of medical personnel and the fear that had me jumping from the bed the moment I woke with someone's hand on my throat. Panic has set in and my brain is supplying rational reasons for me to calm down 'she is just checking vidals'.

I wish my broken body would listen to my brain and not my tattered heart that is attempting to drum out of my chest. I'm speaking but it's as if it's coming out in Finnish. The pain is so devastating that my knees start to give but my heart skips a stuttered beat when I hear Pacey call my name. Gravity must take pity on me and propel me into standing just as he pushes through the crowd. My heart leads me once more and I am plastered to him faster then should be physically possible. As his arms lock around me I give up my will to process anything else but the feel of my friend. His warmth, his skin, his ugly jersey and his hands on my back making me feel sheltered. In this moment my brain slows it's frantic pace and the throbbing between my thighs makes me realize what was taken from me in my unconscious state. The tears are falling far to fast and I hide myself in Paceys neck.

There is a a strange feeling of having too many emotions all at once but also a complete emptiness at the same time. My brain is back in motion taking inventory of each ache and throb. The muscles that feel strained that before this moment I did not know existed. I feel a blanket fall on to my back which startles me. I have no idea what is happening around me, which considering the situation I am in is terrifying. Pure hysteria is about to take over when I hear Bessie behind me. I reach for her blindly and once her weight is pressed to my back I start to calm down finally. My body sags with relief for a moment and I sink further into Pacey, exhaustion is taking over and as much as I don't want to sleep again I don't have the strength. The trepidation of sleep fades with the solemn declaration of protection from a friend whom I trust explicitly and I fall asleep to the soothing hum of my sister's voice and Paceys smell.

My eyes finally tore away from the bruise tarnishing my friends skin to meet with Bessies alarmed one's, she must have felt the sudden ease of Joeys body. Her eyes flick to the doctors in a searching manor, I can feel the little rise and fall of her chest as she breathes and focus on that while the doctor squats down beside me to look Jo over. His fingers find her pulse and he smiles slightly before standing straight again.

"She is fine. It's very normal for her to be extremely tired with everything she has been through. I will need to check for a concussion when she awakes again. We still need to do a pelvic exam but for now rest is best. I can help you move her to the bed." Bessie and I stare on in a daze and shouts from the hall have us all turning, even Jo in her unconscious state drives her fingers tighter into my shirt. The noise continues to climb. I finally look around the room taking in Bodies tense frame as he stands with his back to us, Doug standing by the door with a tense jaw and his hand covering his mouth and the nurses rushing into the hall where Mitch seems to be blocking Dawson from the room. I can hear the edge in Mitchs voice as he tries to stop his son from the seeing the tragic fate that was bestowed to his "soul mate".

"You don't need to see this Dawson"

"I don't care what you think I don't need, my best friend is hurt and I will go in that room with or without you so move." Dawsons voice is strong and determined making me proud of him. I pull Jo a little tighter and look back to Bessie who has tears running down her face. Her hand is running up and down Jos back and my arms that are around Jo under the blanket. I turn my hand to grab hers and notice that Bodie has finally turned and crouched down beside Bess stroking her back. Dawson is still arguing with Mitch outside the door when Bodie reaches for Jo to move her, I attempt to lean her back into his arms but she whispers and I pull her back and shake my head at them.

"Just let her stay there she is comfortable." The doctor lets out a sigh at Bessies exclamation.

"We will bring in more blankets. She needs to be kept warm she lost a lot of blood. Try to move off the floor if you can and let me know when she wakes up." The doctor is making motions towards the door ushering out the medical team. Which must have given Dawson the break he needed because he is collapsing in the spot the doctor just vacated his face is so shocked I have to look away. His cries are horrible and Mitch and Gale are approaching him quickly. Jo tenses in my arms from the noise and I flatten my cheek to hers and hum out a tune that I can't remember the words to only the melody. Dawson must have picked up on her distress and is taking in big breaths of air to calm himself. I notice Doug must have slipped out with the doctor's.

Jo shifts a little so I pull my cheek from hers and when I look down I curse my carelessness. Her face is bruised and covered in tiny cuts. She has always been bright, from her smile to her brain, this bruised Joey is hard to recognize. I breath deep and regret it, she smells of medical creams and earth, wet dirt and trees. The smell clings to her from the forest floor she was held to. The thought has my stomach churning and the color must drain from my face. I feel Mitchs hand on my shoulder and my eyes focus in on his face. "We can put her into bed Pace. "

My head gives a firm shake and I look down to notice Dawson's hand resting on her exposed calf next to my thigh. How hadn't I registered his hand there. I don't known why I don't like him touching her but I don't. I squash the bizarre possessive feelings. I feel Bessie push up off my legs and she is engulfed by Gale. They both start whispering and I look over to Dawson finally and he is staring at her heartbroken and lost. I wonder if that's what I look like right now. I don't think Joey will like that face, she is always watching out for everyone and fixing everything. I take a deep breath and try to make enough sense out of this to be calm and collected that's what she'll need. I don't want her to worry about me or anyone else for that matter.

"We are going to have to pull it together, Jo doesn't need us breaking down now." My voice is quite and gravely but Dawson seems to register what I said. Mitchs hand squeezes a little before pulling away to pull Gale from the room. Dawson is wiping his face and nodding his head. Dawson hasn't always understood me,in this moment though I feel like we are on the same page for once. Bodie seems to be in action looking at the flimsy bed they use to examine people on. I really look at the room and notice there are no chairs just crash carts are supply cabinets. Bodie and Bessie exit with a quick "We'll be right back. "

Silence takes over leaving me slightly off kilter. The noise for the past hour has been filled with sobs and horrible explanations from father figures to doctors without a name, what stands out the most are Officer Thomas's stuttered words as he relayed the information that changed my life, how much they have changed me we will probably never know. The silence is welcomed along with Jo's weight against me. As long as she is with me I can protect her. The silence is short lived, it never has been Dawsons strong suit.

"Who would want to do something like this to her?" His question makes my eyes pull back to the hand print on her thigh. My mind thinks no one because this is Jo but the real answer is harder to digest. I shrug my shoulders lightly and look to the opposite side of the room.

"I want to kill them." Dawson's dark exclamation is exactly what I have been trying to avoid thinking because I would have to leave her and that's not an option. No matter how much I want to rip this man's flesh from his bones the draw to her is stronger. My family and I don't get along but they are good cops and they have no tolerance for this kind of thing happening anywhere or to anyone. Doug likes Joey, she is the smart kid with a future in his opinion. They will not stop until this person is caught. Bessie pushes thru the door and holds it open. Bodie and Mitch carry in a reclining chair and approach us with it.

"Dawson could you move for a moment? We are putting this chair there for Pace and Jo to rest in." Bessie is speaking quietly while making motions for the guys to bring the chair forward. Dawson's next words have the possessive feelings surging out again. "I can get in the chair and take Joey." My. Face must say your a deluded kid because Bess is protesting quickly and I won't look at Dawson as he moves out of their way.

"No really it's okay we have been sharing the same bed since we were kids." Mitch is calling Dawson's name in a attempt to shut him up but Dawson only sees the world his way so obviously we need to do it his way. As much as I don't want to be the neanderthal prick I know that's about to happen and Bess diverts a catastrophe .

"She is obviously comfortable with Pacey so we will just leave her there." She is losing her patients and Mitch reaches for Dawson and pulls him to his side. Bodie arranges the chair next to me and looks at me questionably." Why don't I pull you to your feet and you just hold on to her. " I'm nodding and Mitch comes over silently and they both grab an arm and pull me up. Her legs start to slip down and I drop my hands to grab her thigh and I'm in the chair making slight adjustments to blankets and clothes before settling in.

"I'm going home to change, is there anything I can do for you guys before I come back? " Mitch looks like he has aged a decade in the past hour. Then I think of how hard it must have been to find her the way he did. Jo is his second child. She may not be blood related to the Leerys but they care for her more then my flesh and blood does for me. He looks at us all as he is talking and when his eyes land on Jo I think hard isn't the right word maybe devastated is more accurate. I must have zoned put because plans are being made but I can't really bring myself to pay attention. Jo's hardly moved but her breathing is even and she is warm.

Dawson and Bodie are carrying in few chairs and Bessie sets one to the left and I can feel myself drifting as the room calms down and we wait. I tighten my arms and rest my head back before I close my


	3. Chapter 3

Waking this time isn't as panic inducing. I feel a little too warm but the weight of the blankets is comforting. I'm all to aware of how intimately I am preseed against Pacey but I just want to hide a little longer. I haven't a clue what the next step will be but I'm sure it will bring more heartache. I feel Paceys arms tighten a little bit and let out a content sigh. If only I could stay hidden here forever . Pacey calls my name quietly but it seems to send the room into motion.

I burrow into Paces neck further, just hearing the amount of movement is making me cringe. How many people are in here? How many are seeing me like this? I feel my chest constrict and take in a gulp of air as Bessie calls my name. I move my face back enough to ttalk but realize I don't know what to say.

"Jo. What do you need? What can I do? " Paceys voice is so soft and sincere that it makes my eyes water. I clear my throat which makes me wince. It feels like I ate a hand full of rocks. The voice that comes out is so raspy I attempt to hide my face more.

"Can...I can't. ...too many people. " Well hopefully someone speaks gibberish so I don't have to talk again.

My debt to Pacey Witter grows once again when I feel him nod his head and quietly tell everyone to clear the room. Chairs creek and mattresses wrinkle and as I hear the door open and the shuffling of feet Pace pats my back.

"I'm going to stand and sit you in the chair or would you rather the uh... bed?"

"Chair and Bess...Pace?" I'm confused because I want him to stay but desperately need time alone with my sister.

"I'm not going anywhere Jo. I'll be outside if you need me." His hugs me to him and kisses my head. I feel his muscles tense and we are moving. He stands and as he puts me down to pull away I realize we haven't really looked at each other through much of this exchange. Our eyes seem to lock togettogether and he pulls the blanket around me covering me completely. I notice some movement to my left and look over to see Bessie watching us. She gives me a small smile and Pace finally steps towards the door and I can see him hesitating out of the corner of my eyes but I can't bring myself to look because I will ask him to stay. Bessie saves us from our indecision.

"Pacey go get something to eat and take everyone else with you, this will take awhile. Tell the nurse to give us a few minutes before they come in. " I hear his soft reply and deflate. He was my security blanket and now I have to deal with this. ...this unfortunate circumstance. The door closes as he exits the room and I finally look Bess in the eyes. It's a relief to see her calm and strong. We stare at each other while I try to figure out what to say.

"What do we do now? " I feel tears falling down my cheeks. Bess leans forward and grabs my legs through the blanket.

"We need to let the doctor do a pelvic exam. We need to tell Doug everything you can remember. We will do whatever we need to do to get through this. " Bessie still looks calm but she has tears running down her face as well. My poor sister, as if life hasn't given her enough crap to deal with. I lay my head against the chair and try to organise my thoughts. I need an exam I have had them done a couple times but this will be different. It hits me like a ton of bricks and I'm hyperventilating in seconds. I can hear Bessie calling my name but I can only focus on the one thought. I could be pregnant, a baby and then there is a bag shoved over my mouth and my eyes focus on Bessie and the nurse leaning over me. I take a few deep breaths and the nurse pulls back slowly as I pull in regular breaths. Bessie is holding my face and the nurse stays standing slightly behind her.

"I could be pregnant. ...I...can't. " My stuttering voice sounds nothing like me and Bessie turns to the nurse and without a word she steps closer and kneels in front of me.

"We have medicine we can give you to make sure you won't become pregnant. The doctor will give it to you after the exam. We need to do that soon, the sooner the better. This will be difficult but we need to take pictures as we do the exam. The more evidence we can give Deputy Witter the better. " I'm so relieved that I won't be pregnant that the fact that they are going to catalog my ugly body is not processing completely.

"What all needs to be photographed? " Bessie is back to calm and in control which is good because I'm not ready for any of this. I would rather there be no evidence of this but I also want to do whatever I can to ensure it doesn't happen again. I realize I haven't even looked myself over and I don't want to see. I feel the pain and know it's there but hidden from sight it's easier to bare.

"Any bruising or lacerations. Really anything left from the assault. Another nurse and I can do it if you would prefer that. The doctor can as well it's whatever you are more comfortable with." This nurse is probably my sister's age, she has a kind face and a sweet disposition. She will be easier to deal with at this point.

"Can I keep my eyes closed while we do all this?" I have thrown both women with my question as they stare at me questionably. I look to the floor before I admit my problem.

"I haven't seen myself yet. I know it's bad I just can't yet." I can't bring myself to look at them and the silence is overwhelming. I feel the tears building again. I take a deep breath to hold them off.

"We should be able to work with that. What ever makes you more comfortable we will try to do. I need to check your vitals and get you ready for the doctor to do the exam. Are you ready for that Josephine? " As she says my name I realize I don't know hers. I tear my eyes from the floor to look at her and notice her tag hanging from her shirt with a clear printed Olivia. The name suits her and I just nod my head.

"Would you like your sister in the room? " I look to Bess and nod once more. She moves to pull a cart over and I close my eyes tight and take a few deep breaths. I can do this. ...I can do this, is a mantra running through my head. I feel a hand on my shoulder and fight my bodies reaction to tense.

"I'm going to remove the blanket so she can check you Jo, but let's move you to the bed first okay? " I sigh and nod again. Bessie must realize I'm not going to open my eyes because she pulls me to my feet gently before guiding me to the table. The amount it hurts just to walk has me hissing. I reach back to pull myself onto the table and feel something horribly painful on my shoulder. A pained grunt leaves me and I feel a second set of hands on my back .

"Oh no. You have torn a stitch in your shoulder. " Olivia is applying pressure as she talks and the pain flares making me double over. That makes it hurt worse and she is trying to pull me upright. "Josephine deep breaths, Bessie can you grab the doctor please he should be just down the hall waiting to be let in." Bessie must be yanking the door off the hinges by the way it hits the wall. My eyes are still shut and they are going to stay that way. Tears are streaming down my face and I'm fighting a sob as I hear Bessie yell for the doctor and the edge in her voice is my undoing. This is not fare, this is too much, the doctor must enter the room as Olivia starts firing information at him.

"She has torn a stitch in her shoulder. She needs more pain meds."

"We need to numb the area to foreclose the wound, how did she do that anyway. " His voice is tight, distraught. I hear papers flipping and drawers opening and closing. I feel Bessie grasps my hand at I try to stop sobbing and it just turns more pitiful. Bessie keeps saying it will be okay but somehow I just can't see it ever being okay again.

"I'm sorry sir, she pulled a stitch when she pulled herself on the table. I should have been more attentive. " Olivia is upset and I drag in air desperately trying to calm myself down. It's my body I should be paying attention. I am getting it under control when I hear the doctor scold her for being careless and my teeth grind together which makes me hurt even more. " My fault...she has been very good. " I sound week but I hear a sigh from behind me and a quiet "It's okay. ...I'm going to give you a couple shots. One for the pain and another to numb the area." My head stays hung and Bessie sets my hand into a man's and he turns my arm over carefully and as he is feeling for a vein I feel him pause.

"Josephine are you okay? Would you prefer another doctor? " His voice is still distraught but more gentle. I shake my head and he still holds my arm immobile but he doesn't move. "Dr. Johnson" Olivia says his name questionably. "She won't look at me?" Ahhh well I'm not going to explain this to him, I will surely start sobbing again if I do. Bessie squeezes my hand before explaining to the doctor. "She doesn't want to see herself. She hasn't yet and would rather get the hard stuff done before she does. " Her voice is still calm but very quiet.

He clears his throat and pats my arm . "Alright Josephine. We will do this and do the exam quickly. What was her BP this morning Olivia? "

"Sorry I haven't checked yet. She needed talked through a few things before we could do anything else. " As they are talking I start to feel queasy. He moves around on my arm and grunts." Well it's low but nothing to worry about yet. I'm going to give you some pain meds then numb your shoulder." I feel the needle pinch and and another in my shoulder before they begin stitching my shoulder. I remember the pain there when his weight settled on me. "He was so heavy. When I was trying...to get him off a rock or something must have done that. " I hear Bessie gasp and I have no idea why I just said that. It makes me feel better and worse at the same time. The doctor has stopped stitching and the whole room is silent. The verbal diarrhea apparently isn't over.

"I remember almost getting away but...but." My eyes are open and I am flipping my hands over and looking at the scrapes there before I realize it. Bessies hand is still suspended in the air where I had just pulled free from it. The doctor is back in motion and my heads starting to feel light. Olivia is kneeling in front of me again and I look to her. "Would you like Deputy Witter to come in? He will need to hear this all." She stays there patiently while I consider this. I take a few deep breaths and Bessie is holding my hand once more.

"We could just get it over with Jo." I look to her and nod my head again. Get it over with is a nice thought but I feel like this may never be over. Olivia must have already left to get him because they are back in moments. Doug looks tired and wrinkled. He always looks fresh and well groomed. His mouth is tight but there is a slight smile that reminds me of Pacey . I attempt a small smile but think it must look like a grimace. He nods at Bessie and stops in front of me. " Joey whenever your ready, if you could start at the beginning and I will save questions for the end okay?"

"Ok." I sound more confident than I feel. I look around the room for something to focus on but land back on Doug. As I stare at him the horrible tale falls from my lips and a tissue is pushed into my hand but I don't care enough to wipe my tears away. Doug's jaw clinches and eyes flare throughout the story and when I reach the end I feel relieved but bereft of emotions. He pulls a small pad out and ask specific questions about the car, the man and if I could help with a sketch. Bessie has lost the calm beside me and her hand is shaking hard. I squeeze and look at her red face.

"I can. Bess maybe you should go talk to Bodie?" I don't want to be alone but she is breaking down and I won't be able to fix her. She shakes her head and tries to calm down. I look to Olivia and she smiles. "Deputy can you take her to Bodie? "

"Jose..ph. ..ine I'm your sister and I will stay." Her shuddering tells me she needs to get out of here for a few minutes. Olivia saves me and pushes Doug towards Bessie. "It will be fine I will take care of her. She may need a moment herself." Bessie looks reluctant but I smile despite my tear stained face and Doug starts to pull her from the room.

"I'll be right back Jo." She sounds defeated but must realize I can't hold it together while she is losing it. Olivia grabs the door as Doug pulls her into the hall and I can hear startled voices. I can make out Mitch and Dawson, Bessie is quite a sight right now and the door is shut quickly closing out the commotion. Dr. Johnson walks to the front of me and I am surprised at how young he seems.

"Do you want to do the exam now or wait for your sister?" I stare at the floor conflicted, I want to get this over with but as nice as Olivia and Dr. Johnson seems I don't have the courage to do this alone. She must sense my hesitancy because she pats my hand. "We can wait or I can get someone else for you Josephine, whatever your comfortable with. Mrs. Leery is in the hall."

Gail? Well we may not be as close as we were when I was younger but she knows my whole life and Bessie wouldn't be as stressed about me being alone. " Yes. Can you get her please, I want to be done with this."

"I can get her if you can get her ready and check over her chart okay?" Olivia gives a quite yes as he exits the room. "Alright Josephine lets get you settled in and I need to look over your other stitches. If it's okay we will take the pictures while we are doing this. If you become overwhelmed let me know and we will stop okay? "

She is pushing me back gently while she talks and I feel the shakes take over. "Do you need anything before we get started?" I shake my head as she lifts my legs into the stirrups. I can do this, I can do this The mantra starts and I focus hard on the ceiling. I hear the door open and Gail is leaning over my head to look at me as her hand settles into my hair. She has always known how to approach people. "Hi honey, I'm so sorry this has happened to you." I feel tears well up again but they don't fall .

"Josephine We are going to get started, if it is too much let me know and if if hurts to bad let me know." O hear gloves snapping as he talks and I nod once more. I pinch my eyes shut and focus on Fails fingers in my hair and tune out everything else.

The moment I stepped into the hall I deflated. I really want to stay in there with Jo but I understand her need for Bessie. Bessie has been the only constant family member she has ever had. Sometimes I envy the sibling bond they have. I have plenty of siblings and not one of them do I connect with. I see Doug across the hall and think back to the night before. We may not be close but he cares. Everyone seems to be standing in the hall unsure of what we should do now. The nurse is walking quickly to us and I step forward to relay Bessies message.

I notice a clock on the wall and realize it's a little before six. The nurse skirts back to her station and I look around to take everyone in. We all must have gotten some sleep except for Mitch. I hadn't thought he could look any worse than he did last night but even the change of fresh clothes he looks like death. I don't know what to say to anyone and we are all a little surprised when Jack rounds the corner with bags in hand. Once he spots us he stops in his tracks. Jack starts for us again and stands awkwardly in front of us before Gail finally breaks the silence.

"Good morning Jack." Her tone makes it clear it's not a good morning. "Mrs. Leery, Grams noticed no one ever came home last night so she made some casseroles for everyone. The receptionist is making some coffee and finding a room you can eat in. " His eyes flick from one face to another nervously, he either wants to avoid the hard questions or maybe he is afraid of the answer. Bodie asks if Alexander has been behaving.

"Oh he has been no trouble at all. He seems taken with Jen. He was still asleep when I left and Grams said to let you know she can watch him for as long as you need. I think she likes having him around actually. " He rubs the back of his head roughly. "Joey" The one word is a question and Bodie sighs." She got some rest and I guess they will look her over this morning. " Bodie sounds unsure and I guess none of really know what is going to happen next. A older women steps from a room and calls for Jack.

"Jack be sure to tell Mrs. Ryan thank you for breakfast. It is very thoughtful. " Gail is pulling a bag from his hand and turning him towards the room as she talks. We all stare after them before moving to follow. I hesitate once more, it feels wrong to leave the door unattended. As I look back I still see Doug stationed in his chair. "Come on Doug ,they may take awhile. Bessie said to make everyone eat and I make it a point not to upset her."

"Well Pacey I'm happy you worry about upsetting someone. But I will stay here just in case." His normal condescending tone is gone but he smiles at me. "Now we need you to eat too, Mrs Ryan probably made enough for a whole platoon so come on." Its the first thing I've heard Mitch say and he sounds better than he looks. Maybe he just needs more rest. Maybe we need to go back in time and see that this never happened. My mind keeps swirling with faces wondering who did it. I push the thought back because it will only drive me crazy. He pulls Doug past me and I follow quietly. They have a table set and Gail is already dishing out food.

"Okay the store should be open and Grams needs some stuff. Is there anything you guys need?" We all look to each other as if looking for the answer. " I think we are okay for now. Tell Mrs. Ryan thank you from all of us. " Gail is patting Jack's back as she speaks. Jack looks hesitant to leave. I can remember a time when he and Joey were inseparable not to long ago. They may not be connected at the hip but they obviously still care for one another and he could not imagine leaving this place right now. "Will you keep us. ...let us know if she needs anything and that we are here for her."

"Of course dear. " Gail smiles before taking her seat next to Mitch. "Really though, thanks for watching Alexander. I will be by to get him as soon as possible. "

Jack seems to have found his will to leave and pivots and is out the door without a reply. The food is good but I can't bring myself to enjoy it. We are eating in silence before Bodie must not be able to handle it anymore. "So did anyone catch the game yesterday?" A few shakes of the head and more food being pushed around proves the conversation starter a bust. "Pacey I thought it was your mission never to miss a game?" Doug smiles and I think back to why I missed ththe game. "Well your brother here is why I missed the game so that mission seems to have failed. " I chuckle at Bodie as he sighs dramatically.

"Well now Bessie is the real reason I missed it. Actually I think it was a conspiracy of the Potter sister's that made me miss it, they are trouble those two let me tell ya. "

"Now mister innocent I seem to remember that it wasn't a Potter girl that started the afternoon shenanigans." Bodies reply has everyone laughing and as he goes on to tell everyone the horrible amount of paint on the side lawn from our paint war I feel okay again. As Bodies tale comes to an end Mitch starts in on a story of Joey stuck in a tree she had climbed far to high in and the thirty minute debate with a eight year old girl to get her to climb down. The laughter is just dieing out when We hear Bessie yelling in the hall.

My chair hits the floor but despite my hastily thrown chair Bodie beats me to the door. With a push from Dawson we are in the hall in time to see a doctor run in the room. We stare in silence wondering what could be wrong. "Should we go see if they need help." Dawson's voice is gravely but Bodies turning us back into the room as if on autopilot I follow.

"Bessie will let us know if she needs anything. " Everyone is shuffling back into their seats and I push my food away and it seems to be an eternity before we hear the door opened again. The nurse looks distraught and the blood on her sleeves has my heart pounding.

"Deputy Witter, Josephine is talking." Doug is out the door and I find myself pacing the wall.

"Dad where exactly did you find Joey?" Mitch sighs and runs a hand over his head. It takes a few minutes before he starts talking. "She was on the back road you guys use to walk when you were kids." Picturing the road makes it unfathomable. Unfathomable because that road leads a huge oak tree that we use to climb as kids. Lilly showed it to Jo and she showed us the next day. We practically lived in that field one summer. The summer before Lilly got sick. Dawson and I had thought to sneak out there without Jo one day only to find her in the meadow asleep next to her mother. Lilly smiled and put a finger to her lips. We quietly climbed the tree and played over head while the afternoon flowed by. I think of that moment every time Joey brings up her mother.

"Where at on the road?" I sound like a child. I can't bring myself to look at anyone and the silence lingers. "To the field?" I finally look up and realize Mitch is shaking his head. "No ...about half way there and a few hundred feet into the woods from the road." Bodie is facing a wall and I wish I hadn't of asked. Visualizing it will not fix anything. I pace into the hall trying to escape the information. I turn and lean against the wall outside her room and realize everyone has followed me out.

We are quite for along time before we hear a hysterical Bessie. Doug drags her into the hall and shuts the door.

Bodie and Gail are around her in seconds and without a shadow of a doubt this feeling is the worst yet. My whole torso is constricted. I didn't think it could get any worse until Bessie starts sobbing harder about how Jo fought but it wasn't enough and I see Dawson slide down the wall. I feel like I will never know happiness again. "Of course she did Jo is a fighter Bess. She will always be a fighter. She is alive that's what matters okay."

Her sobbing is slowing and I feel this unimaginable amount of hate. I could kill someone with my bare hands. I look and realize Doug has slipped from the hall and I almost trip over my own feet to go after him. He is on the phone talking quietly. I overhear the words Indiana plates and we need a sketch. So he wasn't from here I feel like it should comfort us a little but it won't. There isn't anything that will comfort me except Jo at this point so I slide down the wall and wait to get back to her.


End file.
